hear is the baby scan! ite the small bean thing pointed out by the wight line lol cute eh?
Clarification
15 years ago
Wednesday 30 July 2008
suprise!
hey there!! so im still a bad blogger lol i will get better though it has just bein a very eventful week so bairly had a chance to update!! so this week jeeeez wat a week lol
i found out that i am pregnant....wat a shock!! lol i was feeling kinda icky for a few days and was feling bloated and stuff. i though i might be pregnant cos it was pretty much exactly how i felt when i was having fransesca. so i made an appointment with my doctor and i was right i am pregnant! im only a few weeks gone though im due in abouttt march roughly. i told sean and he has done a runner no idea were he is wat he thinks or anythin. my mom and my sis know to and some close friends mom was shcoked and a bit upset but she is ok now and bein the protective mom making sure i eat right and dont stress out lol av is pretty excited after she got over the shock. she gets on so well with fransesca and loves being an aunt already. i think she wants to kill sean though lol i had a scan on monday morning, id a few problems when i was havin fransesca so the doctors are keep a close eye on me but so far so good! im over the shock now and started bein excited about having a new baby in the family!!
if u have sein the news then you will have sine that californina had an earth quake yesterday!! it was my first earthquake and it was scary, the hole house was shaking!!! i had no idea wat was going on at first it was scary. poor fransesca was very scared she has bein clining to me all day since and slept in my bed last night she wouldnt go into her own she screams bloody murder ever time i leave the room, i hope she isnt like this all the time now lol
so that has bein my week! i rly hope the week coming up is not as eventful and we can jsut chill out!!
i found out that i am pregnant....wat a shock!! lol i was feeling kinda icky for a few days and was feling bloated and stuff. i though i might be pregnant cos it was pretty much exactly how i felt when i was having fransesca. so i made an appointment with my doctor and i was right i am pregnant! im only a few weeks gone though im due in abouttt march roughly. i told sean and he has done a runner no idea were he is wat he thinks or anythin. my mom and my sis know to and some close friends mom was shcoked and a bit upset but she is ok now and bein the protective mom making sure i eat right and dont stress out lol av is pretty excited after she got over the shock. she gets on so well with fransesca and loves being an aunt already. i think she wants to kill sean though lol i had a scan on monday morning, id a few problems when i was havin fransesca so the doctors are keep a close eye on me but so far so good! im over the shock now and started bein excited about having a new baby in the family!!
if u have sein the news then you will have sine that californina had an earth quake yesterday!! it was my first earthquake and it was scary, the hole house was shaking!!! i had no idea wat was going on at first it was scary. poor fransesca was very scared she has bein clining to me all day since and slept in my bed last night she wouldnt go into her own she screams bloody murder ever time i leave the room, i hope she isnt like this all the time now lol
so that has bein my week! i rly hope the week coming up is not as eventful and we can jsut chill out!!
Tuesday 22 July 2008
Monday 21 July 2008
good morning
im keeping to my blogging go me!!!! lol
so wats the plan for today then? i have a doctors appointment in aboutttt 40 mins... i ate the doctor they always try take your blood but iv bein feeling rly icky the last few days so want to get checked out :D thennn im going for lunch with my girl friends... we are going to a vegan place, i have nothing agenst vegan food... i just rly like meat lol so it should be an intresting lunch eating flowers and other non meat things lol then tonight me and fransesca have our baby yoga class lol we are getting very good at it and fransesca loves it. i tihnk it rly chills her out and she gets to play with other kids her age :D
anyways iv nothin else to say life is rather boring jsut now lol il update later!!
so wats the plan for today then? i have a doctors appointment in aboutttt 40 mins... i ate the doctor they always try take your blood but iv bein feeling rly icky the last few days so want to get checked out :D thennn im going for lunch with my girl friends... we are going to a vegan place, i have nothing agenst vegan food... i just rly like meat lol so it should be an intresting lunch eating flowers and other non meat things lol then tonight me and fransesca have our baby yoga class lol we are getting very good at it and fransesca loves it. i tihnk it rly chills her out and she gets to play with other kids her age :D
anyways iv nothin else to say life is rather boring jsut now lol il update later!!
Sunday 20 July 2008
bad blogger
im a bad blogger!! iv bein busy but i guess not to busy to blog...how hard is it to take two mins out your day to update eh? i promise from now on i will update at leasttt 3 times a week!! a blog is a commitment and u gota love it and wright in it lol
sooo the last week.... its bein good, iv bein hanging out with my friends alot just general summer fun now my exams are over. sean is still hear but he is going back to ireland in a few days, and im gona miss him loads and loads!!!
fransesca is good she is getting bigger and bigger every day and is learning new words lol avril has taught her to say "no way" wich was cute and kinda funny at first but now wen ever i ask her somthin all she says is "no way".....isnt she a cutie lol
i am very slowly building up my LA tan...woohooo im not a very very light shade of brown!! fransesca has a better tan than me and she is constanly coverd up from the sun lol it doesnt make sence!!!
right im going to go...and im going to update lots n lots in teh next week to make up for my lack of blogging!!!
sooo the last week.... its bein good, iv bein hanging out with my friends alot just general summer fun now my exams are over. sean is still hear but he is going back to ireland in a few days, and im gona miss him loads and loads!!!
fransesca is good she is getting bigger and bigger every day and is learning new words lol avril has taught her to say "no way" wich was cute and kinda funny at first but now wen ever i ask her somthin all she says is "no way".....isnt she a cutie lol
i am very slowly building up my LA tan...woohooo im not a very very light shade of brown!! fransesca has a better tan than me and she is constanly coverd up from the sun lol it doesnt make sence!!!
right im going to go...and im going to update lots n lots in teh next week to make up for my lack of blogging!!!
Wednesday 9 July 2008
the last week
not had much of a chance to update this week with exams and people having chicken pox iv bein constantly studying or applying cream to spots lol but now the exams are over and fransesca and sean are much better!!
hope everyone had a good 4th july weekend!! mines was ok, had to study for most of it but sean insisted we take a day friday of to just hang out and enjoy 4th of july...even thouhg im canadian and he is irish we didnt want to miss out on the party lol me sean and fransesca all whent to the park with a picknick, fransesca got her face painted like a tiger she loved it!! she ran around roaring at everyone lol she had tierd herself out by like 6 so my mom took her home. me and sean stayed on and met up with some friends to watch the fireworks wich were awsume it was so so so much fun it was a big out door party till it rained lol then it was a big fun wet party lol
my exams are all over and done with no so im a free woman lol no more study for a month or two and i plan to just chill out lol sean is going back to ireland for a few weeks and i im going on tour with my sis for like two weeks should be fun! ima miss sean though loadsss. i see him nearly every day now and we always have a great time together!!
today looks like its going to be sunny, im stupidly early but im wide awae and sitting outside enjoying the quiet before fransesca wakes up :D
hope everyone had a good 4th july weekend!! mines was ok, had to study for most of it but sean insisted we take a day friday of to just hang out and enjoy 4th of july...even thouhg im canadian and he is irish we didnt want to miss out on the party lol me sean and fransesca all whent to the park with a picknick, fransesca got her face painted like a tiger she loved it!! she ran around roaring at everyone lol she had tierd herself out by like 6 so my mom took her home. me and sean stayed on and met up with some friends to watch the fireworks wich were awsume it was so so so much fun it was a big out door party till it rained lol then it was a big fun wet party lol
my exams are all over and done with no so im a free woman lol no more study for a month or two and i plan to just chill out lol sean is going back to ireland for a few weeks and i im going on tour with my sis for like two weeks should be fun! ima miss sean though loadsss. i see him nearly every day now and we always have a great time together!!
today looks like its going to be sunny, im stupidly early but im wide awae and sitting outside enjoying the quiet before fransesca wakes up :D
Wednesday 2 July 2008
even more chickne pox
my spotty baby has made my boy friend spotty :| sean now has chicken pox hahahahah :| ok i shouldn't laugh but it is funny and cute now i have to big babies to look after lol
Tuesday 1 July 2008
chicken pox
my poor baby has chicken pox, at first we though she jsut had a cold she had a bit of a high temp was rly wingey and kept sleeping but then last night she started getting spots, and being the good mother that i am i freaked out and rused her to the doctor, but its jsut chicken pox lol she will be fine in a few days. she is very infectiouse though so anyone that hasnt had chicken pox has to stay away lol most ppl are staying away anyways lol my mom is poppiong round to check on us and sean stayed last night but it still keeping his distanse from my spotty baby lol im kinda glad my mom is staying at avs now, means sean can stay agen with out my mom constanyl trying to be in the room with us lol its nice to having to kiss in the closet haha apart from that there is nothin else new, i have tests coming up soon so im studing loads, im rly nervouse, iv got a practical and a written. in teh paractical i gota do general examination and you get tested on bed side manner n stuff i also have to get an anal examinaition to a plastic duumy (so so so so nasty... n its not like i can exactly practise) me and sean hav bein practisng the general examinatin on each other though... heart rate ect ect ect. the writtin is a bit hared, they dont ask you strait forward questions they give you like a passage and you have to work out wat they are asking before you answer lol
on another lighter note, my sis is launching a new clothing range tis called abbey dawn its cool, its very her lol iv got one of the hoodies that it so cosy and she got some speacial sizes for fransesca that are soooo cute, she is my lil germ rocker baby lol
on another lighter note, my sis is launching a new clothing range tis called abbey dawn its cool, its very her lol iv got one of the hoodies that it so cosy and she got some speacial sizes for fransesca that are soooo cute, she is my lil germ rocker baby lol
Saturday 28 June 2008
crap
o god my mom just caught me in bed woth my boyfriend. she was out with my sister and fransescfa anddd i thoughtt id have a couple of hours on my own soooo i invied sean around cosss we are in that stage were we pretty much cant keep our hands of each other. sooo anywayyy i guess they came homw early anddd my mom thought i was sleeping so she went up to my room anddd she walked in and cought us... at it. sooo now i am dyin of embaressment and hiding in my room as sean ran home..... omggggggggggg help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a lil bit dunk
hellooo we just got home :D goooood night very very fun. dinner was goooood we had sushii, we got a few octopus things that are like hole octopuses and dared each otehr to try them.... i got mine into my mouth then had to spit it out, it was goey and you could feel the legs and it was horibleeee. the rest of the sushi was good tho. we started drinking sakie in the restraunt to.. it was intresting, very strong.... was probs a bad idea lol my sibling were on there best behaviour round sean they did grill him a little but i tihnk avril likes his accent as much as i do so she was very nice to him lol then we went to the clubbb it was funnn we danced alottt and drank even more lol at one point we were all dancing and rosie slipped on the floor she fell down pulled me down with me and then lindcey fell on top of me we laughed so hard we couldnt get off the floor lol iv no idea wat time we left, i dont rly know wat time it is now but i jsut got home so we left about half an hour ago hehehehe sean is hear but dont tell my mom he is gona sneak out before she wakes ups that the plans dun if my mom would rly care that i have a boy hear, in my room, im a grown up :D yea ok she will kill me so dont tell herr lol
Friday 27 June 2008
emmmm
ok so sean is coming to dinner with me and avril and lindsey and rosie and matt my bro and deryk :-/. she is excited, he is excited im nervouse lol it should be ok i hope just embarising if the stories come out, and avril likes to tell the stories and of course matt will be there to back the stories up so no denying them lol not that iv done anything bad they will jsut tell all the bad habbits and silly kid stories and rly he should find out the bad habbits for himself. he still thinks im normal, id like it to stay that way for as long as possible lol and i must must must remember not to take him home with me cos mom is there!!!!! must remember!!!! must not get drunk and forget lol
picture this
ok picture this.....
i am sitting in my garden agenst the wall, my chair has bein stolen, but there is no point going inside and taking a chair from inside out because nearly all of them are out of bounds to lol
avril has bein over most the day im glad my big sister is back and it be rly nice to catch up and make up for lost time but unfortunatly she is busy playing with fransesca lol they are making up for lost time.... they are building a tent in the garden (im sure this was avs idea cos i dont think fransesca rly knows wat is going on she is jsut enjoying making a mess) they have takin every single kushion and sheet out of the house and are hanging them of the chairs lol its cute! they are so similar in so many ways lol they are very very cute to watch lol
so we are def going out tonight i think we are all going for a meal first then going to a club/bar. avril knows i am seeing someone but se hasnt met sean yet. im very nervouse about her meeting him my sis is one of my best friends her aproval is very importnat to me...im sure she will aprove im jsut nervouse lol she thinks i shoudl invite him out for dinner but i think i might just get him to come to the club and it will be rly busy by then and loud and avril will be catching up with her friends so hopefuly she will jsut wave at him and spare me the nerves lol
(just letting you kno...the tent jsut fell down.....fransesca doesnt know weather to laugh or cry, i think avril wants to cry haha)
i am sitting in my garden agenst the wall, my chair has bein stolen, but there is no point going inside and taking a chair from inside out because nearly all of them are out of bounds to lol
avril has bein over most the day im glad my big sister is back and it be rly nice to catch up and make up for lost time but unfortunatly she is busy playing with fransesca lol they are making up for lost time.... they are building a tent in the garden (im sure this was avs idea cos i dont think fransesca rly knows wat is going on she is jsut enjoying making a mess) they have takin every single kushion and sheet out of the house and are hanging them of the chairs lol its cute! they are so similar in so many ways lol they are very very cute to watch lol
so we are def going out tonight i think we are all going for a meal first then going to a club/bar. avril knows i am seeing someone but se hasnt met sean yet. im very nervouse about her meeting him my sis is one of my best friends her aproval is very importnat to me...im sure she will aprove im jsut nervouse lol she thinks i shoudl invite him out for dinner but i think i might just get him to come to the club and it will be rly busy by then and loud and avril will be catching up with her friends so hopefuly she will jsut wave at him and spare me the nerves lol
(just letting you kno...the tent jsut fell down.....fransesca doesnt know weather to laugh or cry, i think avril wants to cry haha)
happy :D
yay my mom is hear and my sister is back :D mom arived a few hours ago she is staying at my house im so excited lol and my sister came back frm tour and she came over....she jsut left to go home lol we was all up talking about er the tour went and catching up for agess lol im so glad to have my family around, i was getting home sick with out them.... just proves you feel at home were ever your family is lol fransesca was excited to c them to, they got hear so late tho and she was so tierd she was rly fighting to stay awake up only maged about an hour then she crashed lol
i tihnk me and avril and some friends are going out tomorrow night my mom is goig to look after fransesca should be fun hehe not sure were we are going yet tho andd we are finaly going to c kung foo panda hehehehehehe
the only down side of my mom staying at mine is that sean cant stay over, i rly dont think my mom would aprove at all lol
i tihnk me and avril and some friends are going out tomorrow night my mom is goig to look after fransesca should be fun hehe not sure were we are going yet tho andd we are finaly going to c kung foo panda hehehehehehe
the only down side of my mom staying at mine is that sean cant stay over, i rly dont think my mom would aprove at all lol
Thursday 26 June 2008
a new day new feelings
iv got myself out of the hump i was in yesterday. i think it was almost good to have a day with my thoughts and jsut work everything out in my head. sean stayed agen last night, i think iv realised that it is ok to like someone else, pluse john always wanted teh best for me and wanted me to be happy, and right now sean makes me smile and laugh and i think i could be very happy being with him.
fransesca had a good tiem when she was away for the night and day, im glad to have her back tho there is noise back in the house, she is playing with her toys just now, i love just watching her as she plays and learnd new things, i cant belive she is my baby somtimes she is so beautiful and i cant belive how much i love her, from the first moment i saw her i was over takin by this amaizing love that you cant put into words, id do anything for my little girl and id never let anyone hurt her ever!!!
i have to start packing soon to go to canada, i rly dont want to go if im being honest.... not sure wat to do
fransesca had a good tiem when she was away for the night and day, im glad to have her back tho there is noise back in the house, she is playing with her toys just now, i love just watching her as she plays and learnd new things, i cant belive she is my baby somtimes she is so beautiful and i cant belive how much i love her, from the first moment i saw her i was over takin by this amaizing love that you cant put into words, id do anything for my little girl and id never let anyone hurt her ever!!!
i have to start packing soon to go to canada, i rly dont want to go if im being honest.... not sure wat to do
Wednesday 25 June 2008
:(
i cant shake this down feeling, im rly weepy and feel so so so alone right now :( i need to talk but just dont know how to
emmm :(
last night was...intresting. sean came over, he is still hear lol we had a rly rly rly amaizing night but yet agen i can not sleep lol iv rly upset myself i feel soooo guilty as good as last night was lol i cant get the words out right now lol i know wat i feel in my head but dont know how to put it into words.... i keep thinkn abut this time last year n how every thing was so good....not that things are bad now they are just so diffrent and im not were i thought id be, i rly rly rly like sean alot but i feel like i am cheating on john and it is killing me :( i dont cry alot but now i cant stop lol im hiding in my living room dont want sean to c it, it will just make things so much more complicaited lol
fransesca is staying with her uncles tonight and i rly rly rly miss her lol the house is so quiet lol
fransesca is staying with her uncles tonight and i rly rly rly miss her lol the house is so quiet lol
Tuesday 24 June 2008
tattoos
got talking about tattoos to my friend so now im posting a pic so she can c :D
this is the one on m back its the first bar of the corus of the song i posted the other day i got it jsut after chirstmass
i also sketch heart on my hip and a star on the other side of my hip
i also have a star on my right are right in the middle its rly rly small, avril has the same tattoo we got them together lol
im getting cherrie blosems round my music tatto i always wanted cherrie blossems bu then i found this quote online abut cherrie blossem tattos and it jsut confirmed howmuch i want it..this is wat it sed
In Japanese culture the cherry blossom symbolizes the brevity of life. You see, this flower only blooms for a short period of time. It encourages everyone to appreciate what little time they have on this Earth and it promotes gratitude for what they are given. As a tattoo, this symbol could remind you that all things pass in time and that bad situations won't last forever. It can be comforting especially in times of grief or other hardship. It's definitely something you can look at and cherish forever - no matter how old you get.
sleeeppppppp
its 4.30in the morning and i cant sleep lol sean is still hear lol we was matching a movie and fell asleep lol i woke up like an hour later lol this is crazy why can i not sleep??4 days and running lol
im going to canada at the weekend i think that is stressing me out, for the first time ever i do not want to g to canada lol i know its going to be upsetting when im there and floods of memories will be coming back to me, its scareing me slightly. i think fransesca will enjoy it she loves seing my parents even tho my mom is down in la most of the time. she will aslo get to see her ther grand parents, im not sure how that will go. they dont see her alot i think it is very hard for them to see her as cos she is like john.
i dont have much planned for today, iv my end of term exams comming up. im not to nervouse about them iv bein studying every day and sean is helping me with things im stuck at and helping him to its good to have a studdy buddy :)
deryck is taking fransesca out for a few hours today so il get some quiet time. he is so good to her, all my family is she is a very lucky kid :D
miss my sister loads cant wait till she is back..... hi avril know you are reading my blog :P
ooo alsooo somthing im very excited about is going to my friends party in auston in november and its fancy dress. fransesca is going as mushroom... no idea wat il go as.i want to make the costumes tho :D i cant wait to see wat auston is like, iv bein once but it was only for the day and i only saw teh concert venue and wat was aroud it lol :D yayy road trippp lol somthin to look forward to :D
im going to canada at the weekend i think that is stressing me out, for the first time ever i do not want to g to canada lol i know its going to be upsetting when im there and floods of memories will be coming back to me, its scareing me slightly. i think fransesca will enjoy it she loves seing my parents even tho my mom is down in la most of the time. she will aslo get to see her ther grand parents, im not sure how that will go. they dont see her alot i think it is very hard for them to see her as cos she is like john.
i dont have much planned for today, iv my end of term exams comming up. im not to nervouse about them iv bein studying every day and sean is helping me with things im stuck at and helping him to its good to have a studdy buddy :)
deryck is taking fransesca out for a few hours today so il get some quiet time. he is so good to her, all my family is she is a very lucky kid :D
miss my sister loads cant wait till she is back..... hi avril know you are reading my blog :P
ooo alsooo somthing im very excited about is going to my friends party in auston in november and its fancy dress. fransesca is going as mushroom... no idea wat il go as.i want to make the costumes tho :D i cant wait to see wat auston is like, iv bein once but it was only for the day and i only saw teh concert venue and wat was aroud it lol :D yayy road trippp lol somthin to look forward to :D
Monday 23 June 2008
i was bored lol
1. Are you dating the last person you kissed?emmmm i dont know, we kiss alot and we have bein on a few dates so yes i guess
2. Pretend you had 10 beers. Describe what you would be doing right dancing or being sick cos i culdnt handle 10 beers
3. What do you want?to be in love with a family and happy
4. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?sean, but we jsut watched a movie and he dint stay the night...im a good girl...most the time.
5.Do you talk to yourself? constantly.i have great chats with myself
6. Do you drink milk straight from the carton? im lactose intolerantsoi dont drink milk
7. Who knows a secret or two about you?my sister knows everything about me
8. How long is your hair?emm shoulder lenth
9. Do you like Batman? meh
10. Who was the last person who told you they loved you?my sister on the phone about an hour ago :D
12. Do you swear at your parents? no they would kill me
14. When was the last time you lied? i dont rly lie so i ont know wen
15. what do you like for breakfast? toast
16. Is your birthday on a holiday? nop
17. What instant messaging service do you use?yahoo
18. Last thing you cooked today?stir fry
19. Did you have a nap today?nop havent slept in 3 days
20. Who's house did you go to last?avrils
21. What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?jeans
22. Why is the sky blue?cos space is blue?
23. Do you like green beans?yes
24. Do you swear a lot?nop
25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? urban outfitters
26. Have any regrets? yes
27. Do you use an alarm clock?my daughter is an alarm clock
28. Where was your default bebo picture taken?bebo?
29. Do you ever snort when you laugh?nope
30. Whats the first thing you notice on the opposite sex? eyes...they are the gateway to the soul
31. Is cheating ever okay?no,
32. Do you want someone you can't have? haha im not sure
34. Do you wear underwear? most of the time
35. Who would you like to see right now?lolmy sister
;)37. Are you a social or antisocial person?social
38. Have the cops ever searched nop
39. Do you have a tan? kinda
40. What's one thing you regret?not asking someone close to me if they were ok befre it was to late
41. Would you rather sleep with someone, or alone?with someone
42. What schools did you go to? many
43. What radio station do you listen to?a good one
44. Who was your favorite boy band from the past? nsync duhhh
45. Are you afraid of the dark? yes
46. Do you know how to play poker?yip
47. Do you miss someone today? yea my family
48.Whats your favorite song? innocense by avril
49. Who's your last text on your phone from? sean
50. What's your favorite commercial at the moment?ont have one
51. Do you always wear your seat belt?always
52. Do you like bananas?yes
53. What do you wear to bed?a tshirt and underwear
. Who was the last person to disappoint you?me
55. Do you trust people? yea i try
57. What does your 5th text message in the inbox say? "i enjoed it to cant wait to c you agen very soon"
58. Is there someone you want to fight?nop
59. Do you know what you want to do with your life?yip
60. Would you ever dye your hair red? sure
2. Pretend you had 10 beers. Describe what you would be doing right dancing or being sick cos i culdnt handle 10 beers
3. What do you want?to be in love with a family and happy
4. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?sean, but we jsut watched a movie and he dint stay the night...im a good girl...most the time.
5.Do you talk to yourself? constantly.i have great chats with myself
6. Do you drink milk straight from the carton? im lactose intolerantsoi dont drink milk
7. Who knows a secret or two about you?my sister knows everything about me
8. How long is your hair?emm shoulder lenth
9. Do you like Batman? meh
10. Who was the last person who told you they loved you?my sister on the phone about an hour ago :D
12. Do you swear at your parents? no they would kill me
14. When was the last time you lied? i dont rly lie so i ont know wen
15. what do you like for breakfast? toast
16. Is your birthday on a holiday? nop
17. What instant messaging service do you use?yahoo
18. Last thing you cooked today?stir fry
19. Did you have a nap today?nop havent slept in 3 days
20. Who's house did you go to last?avrils
21. What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?jeans
22. Why is the sky blue?cos space is blue?
23. Do you like green beans?yes
24. Do you swear a lot?nop
25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? urban outfitters
26. Have any regrets? yes
27. Do you use an alarm clock?my daughter is an alarm clock
28. Where was your default bebo picture taken?bebo?
29. Do you ever snort when you laugh?nope
30. Whats the first thing you notice on the opposite sex? eyes...they are the gateway to the soul
31. Is cheating ever okay?no,
32. Do you want someone you can't have? haha im not sure
34. Do you wear underwear? most of the time
35. Who would you like to see right now?lolmy sister
;)37. Are you a social or antisocial person?social
38. Have the cops ever searched nop
39. Do you have a tan? kinda
40. What's one thing you regret?not asking someone close to me if they were ok befre it was to late
41. Would you rather sleep with someone, or alone?with someone
42. What schools did you go to? many
43. What radio station do you listen to?a good one
44. Who was your favorite boy band from the past? nsync duhhh
45. Are you afraid of the dark? yes
46. Do you know how to play poker?yip
47. Do you miss someone today? yea my family
48.Whats your favorite song? innocense by avril
49. Who's your last text on your phone from? sean
50. What's your favorite commercial at the moment?ont have one
51. Do you always wear your seat belt?always
52. Do you like bananas?yes
53. What do you wear to bed?a tshirt and underwear
. Who was the last person to disappoint you?me
55. Do you trust people? yea i try
57. What does your 5th text message in the inbox say? "i enjoed it to cant wait to c you agen very soon"
58. Is there someone you want to fight?nop
59. Do you know what you want to do with your life?yip
60. Would you ever dye your hair red? sure
the day so far
its bein a good day, i got some studying done wich im pleased about i like to be on top of my studying. fransesca was playing in the garden and i sat in my sun lounger with my books and studied, i learned more abut the heart today i kno the workings of the heart inside and out lol
after studying sean cameround for lunch and i made stir fry, we studied a little bit to tested each other on some stuff i tihnk we are becoming study buddies and good friendsmaby more but i dont know aaa im so confused lol i dont get boys at all not that sean is doing anything to confuse me he is textbook perfect i just worrie abut falling for someone agen. i rly like him alot an awful lot butpart of me doesnt want to like him cos i feel like i shouldnt almost...is that wierd? he is so sweet tho and so understanding about everything. he is coming over and tonight to hang out...are we spending to much time together? he lives so close by its easy to c each other alot and he doesnt know very many people over hear and all my friends hear were avrils friends first so its a little strange but its nice to havemyown friend that i have made hear :) jeez i like him to much this is not good
after studying sean cameround for lunch and i made stir fry, we studied a little bit to tested each other on some stuff i tihnk we are becoming study buddies and good friendsmaby more but i dont know aaa im so confused lol i dont get boys at all not that sean is doing anything to confuse me he is textbook perfect i just worrie abut falling for someone agen. i rly like him alot an awful lot butpart of me doesnt want to like him cos i feel like i shouldnt almost...is that wierd? he is so sweet tho and so understanding about everything. he is coming over and tonight to hang out...are we spending to much time together? he lives so close by its easy to c each other alot and he doesnt know very many people over hear and all my friends hear were avrils friends first so its a little strange but its nice to havemyown friend that i have made hear :) jeez i like him to much this is not good
the song
this is johns song
Fix You lyrics
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your faceAnd I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Fix You lyrics
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your faceAnd I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
john
il warn you this blog is going to be a bit of a rant but i need to talk ad its 7am hear so there are not many peopleto talk to, even if i could talk to someoe i find this subject hard even when i rly do want to talk about it, i feel like i have to explain everything from the start to myself to make it make a little bit more sence to get to some answers so hear it goes....
i want to talk about john. john was my boyfriend, he was fransescas father and a wonderful beautiful person who i still love with all my heart.
almost exactly a year ago, june 27th to be exact john left our house that we livied in he was going to a friends graduaition party and then staying at his moms cos it was closer to wear the party was and he didnt want to come home late at night and disturb me and the baby. he went to the party and phoned me about midnight to say he was going back to his moms early cos he wasnt having a great time at the party he sed he would phone me in the morning when he got up and we end our conversaiton with our normal good night and i love you like we always did. the next morning i woke up with fransesca early and we set about doing the things we had to that day. i hadnt heard from john yet but i thought he had sut slept in or forgot to phone i wasnt worried.
at about 3 that afternoon my mom and my sister came over, this wasnt unusual they came to visit alot we sat in the kitchin and i started making some coffee then my mom asked me to stop and sed she had to tell me somthing. i stood agenst the sink and looked over at avril and my mom, avril had her head down and looked very upset mom had the same sad look in her face,i will never ever forget the looks on there faces that day. i thought maby my grandma had died as she had bein ill a few weeks before then my mom sed "is john" thats all she sed i remember asking wat was going on and she se they had found his body behind his parents house a few hours ago. i imediatley thought he had bein murderd but it turned out that he killed himself about an hour after he got of the phone with me. the next few days were a blur i can bairly remember a thing i didnt want to talk to anyone eat or sleep my hole world had jsut fallen around me it was awful. i stayed at johns parents house the days leading up to the funeral his body was plassed in the house and it was an open coffen. i remember the day the coffen was closed the night before the funeral.i went into the room and stood by him for a long time then it was time to close his coffen his imediate family and i stood around him my sister stood beside me i think she was there to hold me up cos i cud bairly walk with the grief that was running through me. watching his coffin being carried into the church was so hard at the end they played a song by a british band called coldplay the song was fix you it was very fitting to the day. my favrout line in that song is "lights will guied you home and i will try to fix you"
each day got easier but i still dont understand why this happend.i listin to songs that make me think of him and i get crazy angrey with him for doing this and not talking to someone it makes me so mad that he could be so selfish but i hope now he is in a happier place. i see him in fransesca she looks a bit like him she does things that he done and has his laugh.il love him forever for giving me fransesca and ilnever ever forgethim and i dont think i will ever stop missing him. this week is going to be tough cos it will be exactly a year since it happend, and right now i cant stop thinking about this timelast year when iwas so happy and i thought he was to.but apparently the first year is the hardest and now i feel like i am ready to move on
glad im finished that post i need to get all that off my chest even tho its bein told a thosand times.im almost scared to forget wat i felt.
il do a happy update later:)
i want to talk about john. john was my boyfriend, he was fransescas father and a wonderful beautiful person who i still love with all my heart.
almost exactly a year ago, june 27th to be exact john left our house that we livied in he was going to a friends graduaition party and then staying at his moms cos it was closer to wear the party was and he didnt want to come home late at night and disturb me and the baby. he went to the party and phoned me about midnight to say he was going back to his moms early cos he wasnt having a great time at the party he sed he would phone me in the morning when he got up and we end our conversaiton with our normal good night and i love you like we always did. the next morning i woke up with fransesca early and we set about doing the things we had to that day. i hadnt heard from john yet but i thought he had sut slept in or forgot to phone i wasnt worried.
at about 3 that afternoon my mom and my sister came over, this wasnt unusual they came to visit alot we sat in the kitchin and i started making some coffee then my mom asked me to stop and sed she had to tell me somthing. i stood agenst the sink and looked over at avril and my mom, avril had her head down and looked very upset mom had the same sad look in her face,i will never ever forget the looks on there faces that day. i thought maby my grandma had died as she had bein ill a few weeks before then my mom sed "is john" thats all she sed i remember asking wat was going on and she se they had found his body behind his parents house a few hours ago. i imediatley thought he had bein murderd but it turned out that he killed himself about an hour after he got of the phone with me. the next few days were a blur i can bairly remember a thing i didnt want to talk to anyone eat or sleep my hole world had jsut fallen around me it was awful. i stayed at johns parents house the days leading up to the funeral his body was plassed in the house and it was an open coffen. i remember the day the coffen was closed the night before the funeral.i went into the room and stood by him for a long time then it was time to close his coffen his imediate family and i stood around him my sister stood beside me i think she was there to hold me up cos i cud bairly walk with the grief that was running through me. watching his coffin being carried into the church was so hard at the end they played a song by a british band called coldplay the song was fix you it was very fitting to the day. my favrout line in that song is "lights will guied you home and i will try to fix you"
each day got easier but i still dont understand why this happend.i listin to songs that make me think of him and i get crazy angrey with him for doing this and not talking to someone it makes me so mad that he could be so selfish but i hope now he is in a happier place. i see him in fransesca she looks a bit like him she does things that he done and has his laugh.il love him forever for giving me fransesca and ilnever ever forgethim and i dont think i will ever stop missing him. this week is going to be tough cos it will be exactly a year since it happend, and right now i cant stop thinking about this timelast year when iwas so happy and i thought he was to.but apparently the first year is the hardest and now i feel like i am ready to move on
glad im finished that post i need to get all that off my chest even tho its bein told a thosand times.im almost scared to forget wat i felt.
il do a happy update later:)
Sunday 22 June 2008
morning bloggers
good morning bloggers, how is every one today? im great, not long out of bed, just givin fransesca her breakfast and now she is happy playing with her toys. the sun is slready shining and i can tell it is going to be a good day :)
we had a great day yesterday. after our very early morning we went back for a little nap then got ready for our trip to the park! fransesca is getting so independant now, she wants to dress herself and refuses to put on anything i pik out for her lol we were practicly matching yesterday she wanted to wear the same clothes as mummy wich can be cute somtimes lol she is refusing to wear hats in the sun unless im wearing one so im normaly walkig round wearing stupid sun hats lol anywaysss after we got dressed we packed a nice little picknik with some home made cookies.
sean came round then we headed of to the park. he was rly good with fransesca they talked for ages lol wich i found very funny cos i cant understand a word eather of them say when i try to talk to them lol fransesca loed teh swings and trd to eat the sand in teh sand pit i think she had a rly good day. every time sean went to kiss me or give me a hug fransesca came running over and tried to jump on his knee... i think she was jealouse but it was kind of cute (and a little bit annoying)
after the park we all came back to mine and i made dinner then sean went home. it was a good day :) the rest of the night me and fransesca watched the lion king and had a cuddle then we both hadan early night :)
not rly sure wat we are doing today i tihnk we will go shopping.
i wonder if any one reads this blog lol maby im talking to myself....i dont mind tho lol
update later byeeeeeee xxx
we had a great day yesterday. after our very early morning we went back for a little nap then got ready for our trip to the park! fransesca is getting so independant now, she wants to dress herself and refuses to put on anything i pik out for her lol we were practicly matching yesterday she wanted to wear the same clothes as mummy wich can be cute somtimes lol she is refusing to wear hats in the sun unless im wearing one so im normaly walkig round wearing stupid sun hats lol anywaysss after we got dressed we packed a nice little picknik with some home made cookies.
sean came round then we headed of to the park. he was rly good with fransesca they talked for ages lol wich i found very funny cos i cant understand a word eather of them say when i try to talk to them lol fransesca loed teh swings and trd to eat the sand in teh sand pit i think she had a rly good day. every time sean went to kiss me or give me a hug fransesca came running over and tried to jump on his knee... i think she was jealouse but it was kind of cute (and a little bit annoying)
after the park we all came back to mine and i made dinner then sean went home. it was a good day :) the rest of the night me and fransesca watched the lion king and had a cuddle then we both hadan early night :)
not rly sure wat we are doing today i tihnk we will go shopping.
i wonder if any one reads this blog lol maby im talking to myself....i dont mind tho lol
update later byeeeeeee xxx
Saturday 21 June 2008
omg
dear lord i jsut looked at the time i didnt realise it was this early lol we are going back to bed....well i am at least fransesca can come into my bed hopefuly she will sleep lol
its stupidly early but im happy
its soooooo early in the morning.....one of the joys of being a mother lol you have to get up when your kid gets up.i dont even want to look at the clock im to scared to but i know its early lol fransesca is happy tho she is eatig her breakfast and singing to herself lol the girl is constantly singing i think i have a star in the making lol
my date last night was better than i thought i would be im so glad i went lol i got picked up right on time and he took me to this lovley little italian restraunt id never bein to it before. its was rly nice in side it was rly small but all the tabels had there own little area under arch ways and the hole place was lit by canddles very romantic. i had lovley pasta probs some of th best pasta iv ever had i think!! we talked for ages about everything agen and i even learned some irish swear words lol (pogmahone (sp) means kiss my arse lol) we talked alot about fransesca to he seimd rly intrested in her wich was good cos i always worrie about meeting guys when you have a baby some of them would dumb you strait away when they found out but he rly didnt seim to mind, he knows i come as a pair :) after our dinner we deicded to go for a walk along the beach cos it was such a nice night it was warm and breezy atthe same time, just the right temp lol we walked for a little wile thn sat in the sand... he put his jacket down so i didnt get sand on my dress he is such a gental man lol he put his arm round me and we jst sat in silence for ages, it was a comfortable silece tho then he turned round and kissed me (hehehehehe) he is a very good kisser! we kissed for wat seimd like ages... hnestly is could of bein 5 mins or 50 i rly wasnt aware of time jsut lost in the moment :) we walked for a little wile after that then he drove me own walked he up to the door and gave me another good night kiss :D rly was the perfect date :D imseeing him agen today we are going to the park with fransesca :)
i got home late but not to late lol but when i opend my door fransesca was running round half in her pjs bein chasesd by deryk will mat trid to clean up, it looked like a bomb had hit my living room lol of course fransesca looked very pleased with her self she rly does love spending time with her uncles lol (or unci dek and unci mac as she calls them) after the guys left i managed to get her into her pjs and calmed down with a nice bottle of milk and a cuddle she was asleep in ten mins and when down for the night.
il update agen later and let ya know how my day whent but right now im to tierd to think of anything more to say lol xx
my date last night was better than i thought i would be im so glad i went lol i got picked up right on time and he took me to this lovley little italian restraunt id never bein to it before. its was rly nice in side it was rly small but all the tabels had there own little area under arch ways and the hole place was lit by canddles very romantic. i had lovley pasta probs some of th best pasta iv ever had i think!! we talked for ages about everything agen and i even learned some irish swear words lol (pogmahone (sp) means kiss my arse lol) we talked alot about fransesca to he seimd rly intrested in her wich was good cos i always worrie about meeting guys when you have a baby some of them would dumb you strait away when they found out but he rly didnt seim to mind, he knows i come as a pair :) after our dinner we deicded to go for a walk along the beach cos it was such a nice night it was warm and breezy atthe same time, just the right temp lol we walked for a little wile thn sat in the sand... he put his jacket down so i didnt get sand on my dress he is such a gental man lol he put his arm round me and we jst sat in silence for ages, it was a comfortable silece tho then he turned round and kissed me (hehehehehe) he is a very good kisser! we kissed for wat seimd like ages... hnestly is could of bein 5 mins or 50 i rly wasnt aware of time jsut lost in the moment :) we walked for a little wile after that then he drove me own walked he up to the door and gave me another good night kiss :D rly was the perfect date :D imseeing him agen today we are going to the park with fransesca :)
i got home late but not to late lol but when i opend my door fransesca was running round half in her pjs bein chasesd by deryk will mat trid to clean up, it looked like a bomb had hit my living room lol of course fransesca looked very pleased with her self she rly does love spending time with her uncles lol (or unci dek and unci mac as she calls them) after the guys left i managed to get her into her pjs and calmed down with a nice bottle of milk and a cuddle she was asleep in ten mins and when down for the night.
il update agen later and let ya know how my day whent but right now im to tierd to think of anything more to say lol xx
Friday 20 June 2008
big date.....
so today i was just sitting in my garden enjoying the sun and watching fransesca play in the garden when all of a suddon i get a msg on my phone, its from sean!! ok i know i gave him my number but i wasnt rly expecting to hear from him this soon if at all!! so after some gental nudging from a good friend i agreed to go ona date with him!!
now im sitting all dressed up.....but still loking casual....waiting for him to come pick me up!! this is my first date ever! ok iv had boy friends in the past but iv never bein on a proper first date lol im so nervouse!! im excited to though im looking forward to getting to know him and learning more about ireland....ok ok i admit it i jsut want to listin to him talk all night cos i do love his accent!! wish me luck i need it for this date lol
fransesca is spending another night with her favroute uncles she is very excited about it cos she knows they will give her candy wich she is not normaly allowed lol oo before i forget i found this pic of her from last halloween i tihnk its so cute, she was dressed up as a wich but by the time this pic was takin she had takin of her little witches hat... its still rly cute tho she ha jsut started walking about 2 days before it was takin to :)
anyways i better get going. wish me luck agen lol xxx
spider club and family stuff
last night was so so so good!!! we went out to the spider club its was tigerheat night (at least thats what i think it was lol) we got all dressed up, make up dresses heals the lot it was amaizing to go out as me and not as me the mom who is constantly chaising a two year old and 9 times out of 10 coverd in mushy food!! we danced the night away. i met a boy on my course last night who id never talked to before. his name is sean he is from ireland so has a very very dreamy accent that i totaly love! we talked for ages about the most randum things numbers were exchange at the end of the night so maby il get a call who knows!!
i came home this morning to find deryck asleep on my sofa and mat my brother asleep on fransescas room floor with one arm in her crib lol apparently they also had a late night, fransesca looked very pleased with herself when she got up i think she had fun with her uncles....im not so sure if they had fun tho!!
iv bein looking through the small amount of pictures i have on my laptop most of them are family snappes so im stuck in the back of them cos i am the tallest lol i found one picture tho of me my sister and my mom, people say that we all look alike but iv never sein it before....untill today!
this picture scares me slightly (sorry mom) i think my mom is beautiful but i like looking younge lol.....at least i am taller :P maby if i still have this blog in ayear i will add a picture of mom me and fransesca and we can see if the next generation will look the same.... can i also add that by the time this picture was takin we had had a few drinks so are not looking our best.... that is my excuse and i am sticking to it lol
im going to go now i only have about another half hour before fransesca wakes up from her nap and i want to start chilling agen! i will upate you agen soon!!
i came home this morning to find deryck asleep on my sofa and mat my brother asleep on fransescas room floor with one arm in her crib lol apparently they also had a late night, fransesca looked very pleased with herself when she got up i think she had fun with her uncles....im not so sure if they had fun tho!!
iv bein looking through the small amount of pictures i have on my laptop most of them are family snappes so im stuck in the back of them cos i am the tallest lol i found one picture tho of me my sister and my mom, people say that we all look alike but iv never sein it before....untill today!
this picture scares me slightly (sorry mom) i think my mom is beautiful but i like looking younge lol.....at least i am taller :P maby if i still have this blog in ayear i will add a picture of mom me and fransesca and we can see if the next generation will look the same.... can i also add that by the time this picture was takin we had had a few drinks so are not looking our best.... that is my excuse and i am sticking to it lol
im going to go now i only have about another half hour before fransesca wakes up from her nap and i want to start chilling agen! i will upate you agen soon!!
Thursday 19 June 2008
first blog
this is my first blog, what do i wright? i am the worst person when it comes to the internet! i dont have facebook i dont have my space or anything like that so if i lose track of this blog i am sorry but im sure if you annoy me enough i will update!!!
i should introduce myself just incase people who dont know me read this!! my name is michelle i am 21 years old i have a two year old daughter called fransesca. i was born in ontario canada where i lived with my mum dad and older brother and sister but now i live in california in a nice little house just two doors down from my sister (great for baby sisting when she is not working!) im curently doing apart a part time collage course in pre med.
i guess i should tell you about my day then! well i was awoken at about 6.30am by my lovley daughter who was demanding to be fed but of course when i put her breakfast infront of her she shouted her favroute word now but procceded to eat anyway....she is a strange child and it does get stranger. then after fransesca whent down for her afternoon nap i got some house work done and a little unpacking. we spent the rest of the day running around the yard playing games and having the odd dip in the pool to cool down, now i am sitting in the sun keeping a watchful eye on fransesca so that she doesnt eat anymore mud! tonight i am going on a very rair night out wih some girl friends my brother and my brother in law and going to babysit. i am so so so excited i cant wait to get all dressed up and stay up till the break of dawn!! im staying with rosie my friend so i dont have to worrie about the usual early morning feed (haha to mat and deryk)
i will try and update agen soon with something more intresting ! thanks for reading! xx
i should introduce myself just incase people who dont know me read this!! my name is michelle i am 21 years old i have a two year old daughter called fransesca. i was born in ontario canada where i lived with my mum dad and older brother and sister but now i live in california in a nice little house just two doors down from my sister (great for baby sisting when she is not working!) im curently doing apart a part time collage course in pre med.
i guess i should tell you about my day then! well i was awoken at about 6.30am by my lovley daughter who was demanding to be fed but of course when i put her breakfast infront of her she shouted her favroute word now but procceded to eat anyway....she is a strange child and it does get stranger. then after fransesca whent down for her afternoon nap i got some house work done and a little unpacking. we spent the rest of the day running around the yard playing games and having the odd dip in the pool to cool down, now i am sitting in the sun keeping a watchful eye on fransesca so that she doesnt eat anymore mud! tonight i am going on a very rair night out wih some girl friends my brother and my brother in law and going to babysit. i am so so so excited i cant wait to get all dressed up and stay up till the break of dawn!! im staying with rosie my friend so i dont have to worrie about the usual early morning feed (haha to mat and deryk)
i will try and update agen soon with something more intresting ! thanks for reading! xx
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